What Men REALLY Want in a Woman

In Dating Sucks, The Truth by Jennifer2 Comments

I’ve had it.
I’m done guessing.
Stopped trying to figure it out…

I decided to go right to the source, Y’all! I asked my closest guy friends to tell me what men really want in a woman. I did it for YOU! (Thank me later, ok?) And let me tell ya it wasn’t comfortable asking all the tough questions–and getting the answers–without knocking some of these guys out. But I said to be HONEST. I told them to give it to me straight and be totally transparent…

In fact, I begged these poor fellas just to STOP the bullshit and spill the beans!

Sometimes, you should be careful what you wish for.

Hold on to your panties, pretty ladies….these boys were brutal. But to be fair, I did ask them to tell me what they are really looking for in a woman and I promised I wouldn’t divulge their personal info either. My lips are sealed!

Top 5 things Men are Looking For In General:
  • Pretty smile
  • Nice eyes
  • Good physique
  • A sense of humor (Gotta be funny!)
  • Intelligence
    Runner-Up: (And no surprise) BIG TITS
Biggest Turn OFF on a First Date:
  • Zero personality
  • Annoying voice (I laughed at this one!)
  • Stupidity
  • NEGATIVE attitude.
    Runner-Up: Talks about herself the whole time.
Biggest Turn-ON on a First Date:
  • Good dialog/banter
  • Sense of humor
  • Eye contact (Look at him!)
  • Body language (Arms uncrossed; touch him if you like him!)
  • Offers to split/pay for the bill (NOT a gold digger!)
    Runner-up: SEX (Ummmm no! Not happening, guys!)
What is SEXY?
  • Self-confidence (BY A LANDSLIDE!)
  • Good laugh
  • Positive attitude in general
  • Intelligence
  • Mouth/ lips
    Runner-Up: Good sense of style
What is NOT SEXY?
  • Stupidity and playing dumb
  • Negativity
  • Loud talkers
  • Gossipy
    Runner-Up: Badmouths her ex

Now, if you look closely at the lists you’ll notice they are not all physical attributes which makes me happy. Sure, men are attracted to a beautiful smile and a great set of boobs. But they also talked about a woman who loves her kids and has a kind heart. One told me he really wanted a girl that “lit up a room” and could “hold her own at a crowded party.” I loved that. Others were utterly turned off by women with red hair! (Sorry, Gingers.) And I was floored by how many guys hate pubic hair. Ok, TMI? Well, it’s the truth. (Shave, girls. Men are over the Disco Porn Bush.)

Another one of the biggest turn-ons? Empathy. A man loves an empathetic woman. Funny, huh? Seeing as so many guys have such a hard time finding the words to make us feel better after we have a terrible day. Sigh. Oh! And ambitious! A guy sees a girl that hustles hot as hell. I love that in a man, too. Who doesn’t? There wasn’t a guy in the bunch that didn’t think it was sexy as fuck when a woman picked up the check. Bingo, Bitches! Is it so hard to just offer to pay that bill once or twice? I bet you get a third date if you offer to pay on the second.

Guys are not that hard to figure out.

They are actually pretty simple. Guys love to be wanted just like us–needed more than anything else. Men love to be needed. It’s how they came out of the womb with their “swords” raised ready to fight the world! Just “need” your man and see how happy he is. (Trust me.) I learned this from a fabulous coach once, Andrea Quinn. Just try it, “Honey, can you please help me with that broken door… I could use the help?” Men eat it up. Just need them and see how fast they respond.

Just remember one last thing ladies. Put in the effort you want out of the relationship. Don’t play games or bullshit around. Men are not mind readers so don’t expect them to know what you want or what you’re thinking. It’s not fair and you’ll just end up frustrated and resentful. And last (but certainly not least), if a man wants you he will show you. Do not waste your time with a guy who doesn’t. 😉


  1. Hey Jennifer. Thanks for opening up this conversation. I think a lot of this depends on the current age of the man. At my age, I think I’m looking for someone with paramedic experience. You know… the ability to resuscitate in the event of a medical emergency. From decades of experience I am sincere when I say that men do not have the foggiest of what they want in a women – when what they really ‘need’ is a lifelong, best friend. However, their values always seem to be misplaced and cannot even answer the question “Where did I put my car keys?” Since, I am not a marriage counselor and cannot provide a good and valuable perspective, I can at least say I’ve had a best friend for life… married and divorced twice from the same woman, and living together for the third time. being synchronized is always a plus – knowing when the cogs on the wheel will come together, and even when they separate that they will always come back together. I’m hanging on the “rest of the story.”

  2. John… I love your comment! And I appreciate you commenting! And I have to agree, I do think men (and women) want a best friend for life. At least I DO! 🙂 Keep reading, and I’ll keep on trying to get this right! haha. Have the best day!

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