I know what to do. I wrote a book for fucksake. I am basically a relationship expert! I can help other people get happy so what the hell is wrong with me? Rhetorical. I know exactly what’s wrong with me; I don’t practice what I preach! I have been to the seminars and the therapy sessions. I go to Campowerment …
Impossible to Love
I debated writing this. I thought about it for a long time. In fact, I might chicken out even now… As I type. I might just stop, delete, and change my mind. (Should I? Nah.) It’s an important one I think. But it hurt like hell to hear last week when it happened. So writing it now just brings up …
The Hate Blog
I am obsessed with Howard Stern. What? It’s a new thing, and I can’t stop listening to him. I love him. I want to be him when I grow up…and truthfully I’d do just about anything to get on his show. With that said, this morning he did this “montage” that made me laugh so hard, I cried. Tears were …
New Year, New ME!
The ball has dropped, bitches. The horns have been a blown. Balloons popped. Friends puked. Bring on 2018. I have never been so ready for a year in my life. Ok, so other years not so much. 2015, not a fave. 2009, the fucking worst. And I could give or take 2016. But this year, 2018…bring it on! I am …
Enough is Enough
I have it all. A best selling book. An award-winning TV pilot. My kids are happy, and healthy… And I’m in a great relationship with a kick-ass man. What more could a girl possibly want? Shit. Don’t ask. It should be a no-brainer, right? I mean it should be rhetorical. I should want for nothing! But for shits and giggles …
And the winner is…
I wrote this already. I did. The night before the Atlanta Comedy Film Festival. I wrote this blog… I’m serious. I wrote this exact blog for when I lost. And the winner is….not me.
Make Someone Happy
I went in to buy a bracelet. Or a new necklace. Maybe a pair of earrings? Shit, I’m lying.. I went in to get something to wear for a party I have this weekend, ok? Whatever, I went into the store today to shop; I never expected anything like this to happen.
What now?
So, hi. Remember me? The girl with the blog. Me! The one that used to annoy you, ranting…and swearing and shit! Well, I’m back. And I have to say I’ve missed you. Truly, I have. I’ve been so busy, I’m sorry! Don’t be mad….just accept me back into your life. Don’t punish me like a toddler that misses his Mommy …
News of the Day
I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU! Ok, I’ll stop yelling. I’m just so excited! Where do I start? I feel like I need to make a list so I won’t forget anything. Yes! A list. I’m back with #13. I got a book deal. I went to Campowerment. I got contacts and glasses. I will be 45 next week.
Man-A-Pause
I wish I hated him. Or he did something shitty. Or he was mean. I wish he cheated on me… Or said hurtful words, was disrespectful or unkind. Then maybe this breakup would make sense. Maybe it would be less painful. I’d be able to eat and sleep. I’d stop crying. Ya. Maybe if he was a horrible human being, …