Kids love me. All kids. There is not a kid in the world that doesn’t. Look, do you know a kid? Put them in front of me and see if they love me. (No. Forget it. I already can tell you…they DO.) All children think I’m the most amazing human being ever known to man. Except for my boyfriend’s kids. …
It’s Okay to be Alone
You swiped right. You buzzed your butt off. You matched with the best of them. And sure, you had some great dates, met a few nice guys. You even had a couple four-month stints. But you’ve also had a bunch of the worst dates known to all mankind.
She’s So Mean
Should I ask her? Yes, baby….ask her. What if she says, no? She will not say no!
Millennials, You Suck at Divorce.
Millennials You Suck! (I think I’m about to lose my job. Those damn Millennials!) They’ve finally started doing something right! Yes, you heard me. I just got done reading an article that my Dad sent me from Bloomberg. Because of you pesky Millennials, the divorce rate is dropping! I can’t even believe it after all the annoying shit you do …
Worst DATE Ever!
I sat there watching. Boy, was it sad. It looked so…. Well, painful. No, it wasn’t just painful, it looked flat-out disastrous. It was like watching a terrible horror film with your hands over your eyes or a car wreck…You know like you don’t want to watch it but you just can’t help yourself. Yasss. That is what I witnessed …
What Men REALLY Want in a Woman
I’ve had it. I’m done guessing. Stopped trying to figure it out… I decided to go right to the source, Y’all! I asked my closest guy friends to tell me what men really want in a woman. I did it for YOU! (Thank me later, ok?) And let me tell ya it wasn’t comfortable asking all the tough questions–and getting …
Dating Tips From The Shower
Today I was in the shower. You know it’s where I do my best thinking. I thought about when I was single. Not like it was sooo long ago…but it’s been some time now that I’ve been in a relationship. But today while I was shampooing my hair, I started thinking about how I used to get all dolled up …
Digging up the Dirt: Best Online Dating Sites After Divorce
Swipe. Buzz. Match. Over 40. Jewish. Or African-American. Not too tall. Long-term, no short-term. Yes, I like dogs. No, not bald. Wait! I do like them bald. I like my men bald, but no cats. I hate pussies. No, wait…I love pussy, I just hate pussy CATS. I won’t date a guy with a cat but I will date a …
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